That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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