After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
