Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
