Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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