her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
