I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize