What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
