I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Come share oat with me in your robe
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize