you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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