she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
