I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
