I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
