Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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