dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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