Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize