how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Sorry my hands just texted you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
MIDGETS
????
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
