Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
