He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
