We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
