if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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