it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
