im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize