i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
