You're completely useless in the revolution.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
