Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
