He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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