if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
