I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
