I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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