$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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