Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize