you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
