What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
