Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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