Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
