she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
