some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
