So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
