Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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