one might say we're banned from that church
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
