There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
