I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so explain again why im purple
no
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The ass gains better be worth it
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