Fuck appropriateness.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
