Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize