She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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