I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
