If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
