Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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