I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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