your room smells of hookers.
And success
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
