so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
