We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
