Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
