Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
