cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
