I wish I could punch you in the face.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
