OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
