I want to walk on stilts...naked
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
