Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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