Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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