some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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