he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
