How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize