i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
