Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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