You're my little dorito
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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