Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I could fuck to npr.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
