Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize