Where are you?
In a non slutty way
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Say something about gay babies.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
