Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
