I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
