I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i dont even know how to be here
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
