This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
