I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
